5 Ways Relationship Therapy Can Help You Overcome Loneliness & Find Love

Are you lonely?

Somehow, this is a very uncomfortable question.

Who wants to admit to being lonely? It’s almost a sign of failure. There must be something wrong with you. Some people even feel shame.

And that makes it even more difficult to come out of loneliness. Shame makes you want to hide away alone. Failure looks bad, particularly in a society based on admiration of success.

Relationship counseling can be a very effective tool to overcome loneliness and find love – and, no, you don’t have to be in a relationship right now to benefit from it. Relationship counseling is also for singles who want to change the way they approach relationships or how they interact with people they want to attract.

Relationship therapy is usually offered as short term or brief counseling. If you and your therapist uncover deeper issues, you can also embark on a longer journey together.

Here are 5 ways to find your way to love

1. Understand yourself

The first and most important relationship is, of course, with yourself. All counseling and all relationships start here.

The counselor can help you to find out who you are, and why you are acting the way you do. This is a life long journey. It will be worthwhile, even if you should decide that, after all, you don’t even want a relationship with somebody else!

Investigate past relationships and current relationship attempts.

How did you get here?

What happened to you in the past when you had an intimate relationship? What happens to you now when you try to initiate one?

Your relationship counselor has a lot of experience in decoding recurring patterns of behavior and how it influences your life at present.

2 Make friends

Loneliness can lead to a low sense of self-worth. You feel that others don’t like you, since they obviously don’t like to be with you. In some cases, this can lead to a downward spiral.  You may even go on to develop depression.

Relationship therapy is all about connection, empathy, and curiosity. The first person you need to connect with is yourself, you most long term relationship.

Make friends with others, too.

Friends make the world go round. Learn how to initiate and deepen friendships, both for their own sake and because friends are often the gateway to finding love.

3. Find out what you want from a relationship

This one may seem obvious ,but in fact, not knowing what you really want from a relationship is often the real reason why it doesn’t work. Relationship therapy can show you the way here, as well.

Understand your relationship dynamics.

Many people don’t realize that the dynamics between two people are much more important than the selection criteria we tend to be aware of, such as looks, common interests, intellectual value systems.

Power dynamics, communications styles and patterns that are so familiar that we don’t even recognize them as patterns any more, play a big part in our relationships – and also in our loneliness

4. Investigate fears around intimacy

Being very close to another person can be wonderful and exciting.

It is also one of the most challenging experiences you will ever have.

Fears around intimacy, emotional or sexual, can be a real obstacle to relationships. If the fear becomes overwhelming, people often withdraw from the partner instead of trying to work it out together.

Don’t let these fears stand in your way again. Don’t reject someone before they reject you.

5. Heal your wounds from the past

If you are lonely now, you probably have some emotional wounds from the past. From past relationships and from the way you grew up. Issues around intimacy often date all the way back to your childhood. Relationship therapy provides a safe space to talk about these wounds and start the healing process.

Love is not something you can buy or construct.

But if you know yourself, you what you are looking for, and understand the dynamics that govern your relationships, you have a much better chance of recognizing it when it comes your way.

And of creating the life you long for with your future partner.