Relationship Counseling for One

Are You Lonely and Frustrated in Your Romantic Life?

• Are you unhappy in your relationship, but your partner refuses to come to counseling?
• Are you single and feeling stuck in a cycle of negative dating patterns and disappointments?
• Do you feel hopeless and dissatisfied?
• Are you wondering how you can make changes in your love life?
• Do you wish you could have a healthy, loving and nurturing relationship?

Relationships are difficult, and the loneliness and pain that comes from feeling isolated from your partner or the struggle to find love can be exhausting and demoralizing. If you are in a relationship that leaves you dissatisfied but your partner refuses counseling, you may feel hurt and disappointed. Perhaps you feel like making changes in your relationship is hopeless, especially if your partner doesn’t seem willing to put in the work. Maybe you are tired of the arguments, avoidance and stalemates, and you find yourself thinking about leaving. You might love your partner despite your relationship issues and long for a way to make positive changes for you both.

If you are single, you might be tired of searching for a stable relationship. Maybe you have dated off-and-on for years, but things always come to and end. Or, perhaps you are inexperienced with romance and feel unsure of where to begin. You might find yourself attracted to the same type of person over and over and feel stuck in relationship patterns that always lead to disappointment. Maybe watching others in happy relationships fills you with loneliness, and you wonder what you are doing wrong. You may feel as though you are being left behind.

Many People Struggle to Build a Healthy Relationship

Relationship and dating issues are very common, and many people seek out individual relationship counseling to help them create a nurturing, lasting relationship. Many partners in strained relationships are resistant to counseling and say that they will not attend. Often, one partner worries that their therapist will judge them, take sides or tell them what to do. The resistant partner may say again and again that your relationship will get better on its own, but you know that your relationship won’t heal without commitment and effort. Relationship counseling offers you the opportunity to take charge and begin to make some of those important, positive changes.

Dating is difficult, and dating issues are increasingly common in today’s society. Cultural dating norms have shifted dramatically in the last 50 years, and finding someone you might consider a life partner is just not as easy. The Internet, growing fears around marriage and general shifts in career expectations have all expanded the difficult terrain of dating. It’s very common to find yourself falling for the same sort of person over and over again, even if he or she is not a healthy match for you. Thankfully, relationship counseling can help you identify unhealthy patterns and clarify want you really want and need.

Relationship Counseling Can Help You Make Positive Changes

Relationships are dynamic systems. When one part of the system changes, the rest of the system necessarily responds and shifts. Whether you are in an unhappy relationship or single and searching, relationship counseling can help you put changes in motion and create a healthier, more satisfying relationship system in your future.

If your partner won’t come in to counseling, I will work with you to identify and understand the dynamics of your relationship and begin to change the unhealthy patterns you may be stuck in. Sometimes, this may be a matter of establishing more boundaries or developing greater compassion for yourself and your partner. I will listen to you without judgment and help you explore practical actions that you can do by yourself to shift your relationship into more positive patterns. Even if your relationship has gone through serious conflict, with help and support, you can emerge better and stronger.

If you are single, I can help you explore the relationship issues that arise for you time and time again. We can look at your patterns of attraction and uncover whether or not the people you fall for are the people you actually want to be with. Together, we can clarify your values and desires for a romantic relationship. Gaining insights and clarity about what you really want and need can help you become better equipped to spot red flags or incompatibilities and remember what you are really looking for. As your nonjudgmental sounding board and coach, I can help you become more conscious of who you are in relationships and help you develop the tools to use good judgment moving forward.

No matter what you are going through now, a dynamic system can be changed. Whether you feel stuck in an unsatisfying relationship or lonely and fed-up, the present doesn’t have to be the future. With help, you can develop the awareness and understanding that you need to create the nurturing, loving relationship you have been longing for.

You may believe that relationship counseling can help you break out of negative relationship patterns, but still may have questions or concerns…

How can relationship counseling make a difference if my partner won’t participate?

A relationship is a dynamic system. When one aspect changes, other aspects are forced to change in response. It is possible to make significant and lasting changes in your relationship even if you attend counseling on your own. Once you begin to approach conflict and interactions differently, the way you and your partner communicate and share space will shift as well.

I shouldn’t need help to find a partner.

Many people feel that finding a partner should be natural and easy, but this is not often the case. Our modern culture makes dating very difficult, and there is nothing wrong with needing some help along the way. In Silicon Valley especially, everyone is extremely busy, and dating can feel competitive. It is common to feel lonely and unsatisfied in such a high-pressure culture. Seeking counseling now, before you are in a relationship, can help you lay the groundwork to engage fully in a healthy partnership.

I’m embarrassed that I am having so many relationship issues.

Therapy is a safe and nonjudgmental place. In sessions, will do my best to help you feel comfortable and supported. In therapy, I will listen to you and help you feel understood. I will not tell you what you are doing wrong or shame you. Rather, we will work together to determine exactly what you want in a relationship and what you can do to achieve your relationship goals. You are not alone in this.

For more information on how I can help you, to schedule a no-charge 20 minute phone consultation, or to make an appointment, please call or text 408-213-8148 or email at DrGinger@GingerMartirePhD.com.